How to Cope with the Loss of a Loved One

22 Nov 2022

Life will never be the same again. 

Losing a loved one could have been the most painful experience you’ll ever face. The pain is overwhelming, which makes it extremely hard to get through each day. 

It’s an overwhelming mix of emotions that include shock and disbelief, anger, fear, guilt and profound sadness. Despite all these, you’re still trying to act strong and showing a brave front outside. But inside, you know that you’re still hurting deeply and you have no idea when the pain will go away. 

It always takes time 

Each of us has a unique way of processing grief. Some may take just weeks and months and some may require years of processing their emotions. It’s a natural process that can’t be rushed. 

As mentioned earlier, the pain of loss is actually an overwhelming mix of emotions such as disbelief and sadness. One minute we might be feeling that profound sadness and then the next minute we still can’t just believe what happened. Dealing with a variety of emotions is extremely difficult. And we know that it’s already affecting how we work and how we deal with our everyday responsibilities. As a result, we want to rush the healing process so that we can finally feel normal and focus on our own lives. 

But the first step is to accept that it takes time and we can’t rush it. While in that natural process of processing our grief, other concerns and responsibilities are likely to pull us from different directions. For most of the hours we’ll be distracted or occupied. But there will be moments that we can’t help but cry. 

The second step is to realise that we don’t have to forget the pain. There’s no pressure and it’s not required to toss away all the emotions that we’re going through. Once we realise that, we free up our minds to focus on other matters (such as the life we still have now and the people still loving us). 

Pain will remain or always come back, especially during birthdays, anniversaries or other events that remind you of the special moments with our departed loved ones. This can also happen whenever we visit our loved one’s memorial. These will trigger or reawaken the pain and other emotions we’ve been through. To cope, it’s good to have someone to be there with us such as a friend or family member. It’s also good to allow ourselves to remind ourselves of the happy moments we shared with our departed loved ones when they were still here.